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Hello everybody, and welcome back to Ye Olde School Café! This week’s edition will feature part two of my look at Avengers/Defenders War! Last week, we saw The Defenders searching for a way to reverse the spell put on the Black Knight by the Enchantress. The team actually finds that a device called the Evil Eye can restore their stone friend, and then they make a plan to extract the pieces it’s been broken into. Meanwhile, Loki and Dormammu have forged an alliance and are feeding both the Defenders and the Avengers false information to antagonize them into a brawl. Up until now, it has been working very well….

As the Silver Surfer returns to Dr. Strange’s home, he informs the Doc of the Avengers’ intentions to stop the Defenders from collecting the Evil Eye. Doc then casts a spell that shows him Loki is involved with this, and then he telepathically warns the other members of the team that the Avengers are being mind controlled by Loki. Simultaneously, Vision warns the Avengers that the Defenders are “out for blood.”
We next see Valkyrie and Hawkeye swooping down over Mexico amidst a few very frightened people. As Aragorn is landing, Hawkeye makes the comment that he should have taken a second year of Spanish (all the peeps are speaking Spanish). The two warriors get the telepathic message from Strange, and Hawkeye is visibly shaken. The thought of fighting his teammates isn’t a very pleasant one, but Valkyrie scoffs at him and proclaims that she “craves action!” Hawkeye says oh yeah, I like action, too, and plants a lip-lock on her. She calls him a pig, then takes a swipe at him with her sword! After she calms down, she thinks to herself that she actually liked the kiss, then flies away on her winged steed.

As quickly as the beautiful Asgardian rides away, Hawkeye sees Iron Man flying overhead. Iron Man quickly finds the relic, but upon taking it from its owner, an arrow flies through the window and snatches it right out of his hands. Tony knows it can be only one man with arrows like that, and the fight is on. An explosive arrow strikes Iron Man right in the chest, and downs him. Hawkeye reaches for another arrow, but Iron Man zaps it before it reaches him. They get into close quarters and Clint then hits Tony over the head with an arrow that’s full of acid. Tony flies away, and it evaporates, but now he’s mad. He tells Clint that he’s had this coming for a long time and then blasts him up against a building. As Iron Man is about to blast Clint again, Clint fires an arrow that is magnetized and it forces Iron Man’s arm away, and he blasts a section of a building instead. The falling debris is heading right for a citizen, so Iron Man rushes to save him. As he does, Hawkeye makes his get-a-way with the relic.
We turn our attention to the corn fields of rural Indiana, where Dr. Strange is flying over this peaceful spot. He notices something flashing down below and investigates. As he does, we see the Black Panther and Mantis closing in on the same area. When they arrive, they see three people waiting for a bus, and question them. They tell the heroes that they haven’t seen anybody, but Mantis’s ability to detect occult vibrations tells her differently. She uses a front kick to knock an old lady down, which leaves everyone wondering what she’s doing. As the townspeople are frightened, the Panther also questions her motives. She yells at him for doubting her, and tells him that it’s really Dr. Strange. Just as she reveals this, a mystical bolt strikes her down. Doc Strange then makes a break for it during the commotion. Panther sees this and quickly follows. Just as Strange thinks he’s out of harm’s way, Panther comes jumping at him from out of nowhere, and kicks him in the face. The two struggle in the air, but eventually end up on the ground. By this time, Mantis has recovered and joins the fight. She and Panther have Strange on the ropes, but a farmer sees the brawl and fires a shotgun at them. It grazes the Panther, and Mantis then disarms him. This opening gives Dr. Strange all the time he needs to cast a spell over them to sleep. Another win for the Defenders, and another defeat for the Avengers.

As these battles between heroes are raging on, Dormammu and Loki watch from another dimension. Dormammu suspects that someone has alerted the Avengers and interrogates Loki, but Loki tells him that he’s blind, so he couldn’t have done it. The two make peace then watch as the Swordsman makes his way to Bolivia. He contemplates his place on the team after the life he led, and wonders if he really belongs on a team of Earth’s mightiest heroes. Just as he is about to reach the landing strip, he’s savagely attacked by Valkyrie! He makes a quick but scary landing, and then travels to the residence where the relic is being held. He enters the home with its owner, and then is startled by a noise from upstairs. It’s Valkyrie, and the two immediately begin a sword fight for the ages. Valkyrie definitely has the strength and agility advantage, but Swordsman’s skill with a blade surpasses hers easily. Valkyrie uses her strength to knock the Swordsman out, and then grabs the relic. The Swordsman was playing possum, though, and swiftly grabs the relic for himself. The owner of the house shoots him in the back, and Valkyrie gets the relic for her team.
The people of Japan are treated to the presence of Captain America, but also Namor, the Submariner! Cap is greeted by the arrogance of Namor as usual, but it doesn’t take long for these two long time friends to start brawling over the relic. Cap tries his best, but he’s no match for Namor’s vaunted strength. As the two fight on, Sunfire appears, and grabs the relic and thinks that he’s getting away with it. Namor quickly pounds the bejeezus out of him, then turns his attention back to Cap, who has now obtained the relic. Cap realizes that if Namor wants the relic, he can’t stop him from taking it by force. The two men have a conversation about the events that have transpired since the plan was hatched to get the Evil Eye back together. It is at this point, that Cap theorizes that both teams are being manipulated. The two heroes then fly off towards the Defenders’ base of operations to get to the bottom of this wild adventure.
Come back next week, as we’ll see a fight that will shake the very foundation of the planet, as the Mighty Thor faces off with the Incredible Hulk! We’ll also see the heroes discover the true insidious nature of this adventure, and also who’s behind it!
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Billy Dunleavy
billy@comicattack.net