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Hello everybody, and welcome to this week’s installment of Ye Olde School Café! In this exciting edition, we’ll be taking a close look at Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure! This OGN (original graphic novel) was written by Walt Simonson (Thor, X-Factor), and the artwork is by Mike Mignola (yes, of Hellboy fame!). It was an interesting little read, nothing deep mind you, but a good read nonetheless.

Our story begins with a tribal shaman telling a tale of a man who fell from the sky and became their savior. The man is Wolverine, and he’s coming to the Savage Land for some answers, and in typical Wolverine fashion, he’s not leaving until he beats the answers out of somebody. As Logan lands his plane, he is approached by one of the natives. The leader quickly speaks up and challenges Logan to a fight. After kicking the crap out of the masked leader, Logan decides to rest in a cave. Soon after, the leader, Gahck, pays him a visit. Both of them want answers, but Logan tells her nothing. Gahck then picks up Logan and kisses him, then proceeds to squat down in front of him and listen to the story of why Logan is in the Savage Land. Logan explains to her that he was at a play, and while having a quick smoke, he’s approached by a man that hands him a message. Logan tells the guy to “ditch the phony accent,” and then reads a note that is signed by Jean Grey. Logan can tell immediately that Jean didn’t write it (scent, handwriting). The note says to meet her around back in the alley. Logan knows it’s probably a trap, but figures he can handle whatever it is, so why not go. Once he’s at the rear of the building, he’s approached by a figure that unleashes some sort of flamethrower to fry him. Logan dodges it, and then throws a rock at the dude. It hits the guy right in the hand where the weapon is, and it drops him. Logan then realizes it’s a cyborg, and the scent is from the Savage Land!
As the days/weeks pass by, we see Logan help the natives by hunting dinosaurs and snakes, and then he becomes their chief for his fierceness. One time, a native challenges him and rams a spear right through Logan. He basically laughs it off, and the native bows down to him. Logan asks why, and the native tells him that he didn’t think he was a god, but now he does. The native also wants Logan to stop the local T-Rex from killing natives. Logan agrees to stop it, and the hunt is on. After some time passes, Logan and the group find the beast. Logan fights it like a wild beast himself, but gets swallowed in the end. As the natives watch in awe, the beast then falls over, and Logan comes slicing through the behemoth’s belly. Logan tells the natives that this is no ordinary beast, and then shows them that it’s mechanical, and more of a gatherer than killer. Gahck is relieved to see that Logan is OK, because she has fallen in love with him. Logan then changes into his trademark brown and orange costume to find out who is producing these beasts.

As Wolverine is stalking around a volcano, he suddenly falls through a trap door, and the fall KO’s him. When he wakes, he’s inside a cage, and being confronted by Apocalypse! He tells Wolverine that he wants to be his mentor, and then shows him the process by which the natives he kidnaps become the cyborgs he uses to kill. As Apocalypse is gloating, Gahck is trying to sneak in and help Wolverine. She doesn’t fool Apocalypse, though, and he catches her easily. Apocalypse then tells Wolverine that once he reconditions him, the woman will be his first lethal test. As Wolverine struggles mightily to get out of his bonds, he remembers that he has a lighter from Nick Fury in his boot. He then uses it to burn through the ropes that have him bound. Immediately upon breaking out, he lunges at Apocalypse, and the fight of his life is on. Wolverine goes right for the jugular, literally, and Apocalypse seems surprised by Wolverine’s savagery. The fight doesn’t end that quick, though, as Apocalypse unleashes some powerful strikes on Wolverine, and bloodies him up pretty bad. Wolverine, the ultimate savage, gets the upper hand, and tears him apart.
It’s at this point that a hologram of Apocalypse appears to tell Wolverine that this was the plan all along. Apocalypse wanted to gauge his abilities and see if he was worthy. One interesting thing of note that Apocalypse tells Wolverine is that he thanks Wolverine for the advice about needing to improve his British accent from behind the theatre. Wolverine tells him that he’s going to destroy the laboratory, and when Apocalypse tries to use gas against Wolverine, he uses his lighter to blow the place sky high. Afterward, Wolverine makes a quick exit back to his plane. The natives are all gathered around a fire and watch their savior fly away. As the shaman is finishing this story to the rest of the tribe, presumably months after the incident, we see Gahck, standing in the moonlight with a baby that has an “uncanny” resemblance (believe it or not) to Wolverine (or Daken, in my opinion).
Well, that’s all for now, but check back next week for a new and exciting adventure. I’ll be starting a new book, and quite frankly one I’ve been wanting to do for a while now. You may have heard of it…Secret Wars!
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Billy Dunleavy
billy@comicattack.net