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Hey everybody, welcome back to another exciting week here in Ye Olde School Cafe’! This week I’ll be starting a four part look at the huge Marvel event from the mid-eighties called Secret Wars! Yes, this twelve part mini-series showcased all the heavy hitters from a hero and villain standpoint, and really got crazy at the end. This is also the beginning of Spidey in that now infamous black suit of his. Let’s get ready, and dive right in!

Our story begins with most of the Earth’s heroes traversing around their usual haunts, and expecting nothing out of the ordinary. One by one though, the Avengers, Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four, the Hulk, and the X-Men, all try to investigate a strange structure in Central Park. Once they get within a certain distance, they are all whisked away to a space-station. Everybody arrives unharmed, and Spidey starts off with his typical humor. Everyone else is trying to figure out how and why this has happened. Suddenly, Captain America notices another space-station right outside of the one they are currently inhabiting. Professor Xavier quickly scans the minds of the occupants, and senses great evil. While this is going on, the Thing notices that none other than Magneto is in their presence. He and Captain Marvel (Photon) start questioning why Magneto isn’t aboard the other station with the other villains. The station full of villains includes Dr. Doom, Kang, the Absorbing Man, the Wrecker and his Wrecking Crew, the Lizard, Dr. Octopus, the Enchantress, Ultron, Molecule Man, and Galactus. Both squads are startled when they feel a vibration, and then look outside to see the entire galaxy around them being destroyed with relative ease by an unknown force.

In the next scene, a planet is being formed from the devastation right before the very eyes of all the super-powered heroes and villains. Even Dr. Doom stands in amazement of the raw power at work here. The next thing that happens, is that a fight breaks out between Ultron and a few other villains. Doom realizes that Ultron’s adamantium body makes him a formidable foe even for him, and decides to use the Molecule Man to get the attention of mighty Galactus. Once he does, he then snuffs out Ultron as if he were a child’s toy with the flick of a finger. Even the Wrecking Crew shudders at the power of Galactus and then calls him a “bad dude.” Doom seems to be thinking one step ahead of everyone and suggests that the heroes and villains are being gathered for a war. As the planet finishes being formed, a voice abruptly speaks to both camps. It says that “I am from Beyond” and  “if you defeat your enemies, then all you desire will be yours.” Galactus doesn’t like being toyed with, so he immediately takes flight in the general direction of the voice. Dr. Doom realizes Galactus has the best chance to find the source, so he tags along. As Galactus tries to breach the nearby area, he’s repelled by a force that dwarfs his own. It looks like a child being spanked by his father, and even the heroes are in shock and awe.
At this point in the story, the heroes and villains are transported to the surface of this new planet. The team of heroes begins to squabble over who will lead. Eventually, they decide on Captain America, and the villains try to do the same. Dr. Doom, however, has greater plans, and when his fellow villains won’t cooperate with him, he just blasts the fortress that they are hiding in to bits. Doom then sets out on his own to find this enigmatic character that struck down the mighty Galactus. Kang is watching Doom’s every move, and spots him trying to find the power source. Kang unleashes a blast from a laser cannon, and Doom crashes in front of the heroes. They actually try to help Doom, but he refuses of course. Before they know what’s going on, all the villains are jumping over the nearest hill for an ambush! At first, it seems like the villains have the upper hand, but eventually Cap and Reed Richards rally the troops and start to push back the once surging horde of villains. During the scrap, Dr. Doom quietly pulls away and heads out to the spot Galactus was swatted away from. As Doom is pondering his next move, Galactus wakes up from his nap, but totally ignores Doom, which in turn infuriates him. Doom then decides to get back inside the citadel that the Beyonder has provided, and try to figure out the technology that has been provided for them to conquer.

As the heroes are rounding up some of the defeated villains, Cap starts to make a plan to make a defensive perimeter around the heroes’ base of operations. At this point, you can tell Wolverine is getting annoyed at people drooling over Cap’s abilities. The rest of the villains that were defeated, but ran away, come back to the citadel and look at Doom’s face as he laughs at them for losing. As the villains try to attack him, a powerful blast knocks them backward. They look up to the point of attack, and see that Doom has rebuilt Ultron and now controls his every move. The villains agree to let Doom lead for now, and start to formulate a plan of attack on their sworn enemies. Meanwhile, the heroes are trying to do the same, when all of a sudden they feel something isn’t quite right in the hangar area. As they investigate, they find Magneto has returned and seems to be ransacking the place. The Thing tries to stop him, but is somehow changed back into Ben Grimm! The Wasp catches up to the master of magnetism, but then she succumbs to his magnetic powers. The heroes are left wondering where Magneto is going, and how they can save the Wasp. As they are dealing with the Thing’s power reversal, Cap decides to give them some more bad news. He tells them the Hulk and he discovered something terrible using the equipment in the base, and it will require all the attention of the heroes, so the Wasp and Grimm will have to wait.
Whew! That’s it for now, but come back next week for more exciting action, as we see hero vs. hero, the Hulk get PO’d, and Doom’s secret plans unfold further!
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Billy Dunleavy
billy@comicattack.net