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Welcome back for part two of Wacky Comic Wednesday‘s look at Jell-O Man and Wobbly! In part one, I covered  the insane origin of this gelatinous duo. Now, it’s time for a galaxy spanning synopsis of the heroes’ first two adventures. I’ll start here on Earth, with a tale written by none other than Kurt Busiek, “Natural History Mystery.”

Mrs. Sherman’s fourth grade class is in the midst of a field trip to the Natural History Museum, and lunchtime is quickly approaching. Meanwhile, the museum’s French chef is flipping out because all of the kids’ Jell-O brand pudding snacks are missing from the kitchen. All but one, that is. When the chef alerts Mrs. Sherman about the critical situation, one student springs into action. He gets on the horn and calls Jell-O Man on his top secret Jell-O-Phone. Upon hearing the rings of the telephone, the letters J-E-L-L-O explode off of a box of pudding, and become the paladins of puddin’ known as Jell-O Man and Wobbly! Moments later they’re seen descending from the sky with parachutes.  After landing, our heroes are briefed on the situation by the chef, and Jell-O Man lists a number of possible suspects: The Shoveler, Mr. Invisible, and The Gobbler (Yes, a guy named The Gobbler is part of Jell-O Man’s rogue gallery. Awesome.) According to Jell-O Man, all of these potential culprits have “a sweet tooth for creamy smooth Jell-O pudding snacks.” While searching the museum for clues, he passes an evolution exhibit, and says to Wobbly, “The fish has legs! Pretty neat, huh?” To which Wobbly replies, “yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah” (Busiek must have called this one in). Next, they come to the dinosaur exhibit, and Jell-O Man catches something out of the corner of his eye. He plays it cool, and puts on his “Special See-Behind-You Glasses” and sneaks a peek at a blue dinosaur making a run for it. The dessert bandit is quickly recognized as Snackosaurus, who’s holding about a month’s supply of pudding snacks in his tiny arms.  Jell-O Man tosses the single remaining pudding snack at Snackosaurus, which causes him to lose his balance. As he begins to juggle a massive amount of puddin’ with his tiny arms, Jell-O Man takes this opportunity to deliver a sucker punch via his signature finishing move. He removes his head, slides it down his arm, rolls it like a bowling ball, and slams Snackosaurus right in the nuts (ouch).

This puts the big guy down, and the snacks are returned to the children. As Mrs. Sherman’s class is leaving the museum, Jell-O Man attempts to bum a ride home. The teacher tells him the bus is full, but he just hops on anyway and says, “There’s always room for Jell-O!” Come to think of it, Jell-O Man’s a bit of an asshole.

Travel with me to the planet Gumongo, a tropical land populated by tiny pink aliens with antennas. As ambassador to this world, Jell-O Man introduces the indigenous populous to the wonders of processed sugar and gelatin, teaching them to abandon the plentiful and nutritious fruits of their seemingly endless rain forests. After bringing the plague of the New World Syndrome to the corners of the galaxy, Jell-O Man decides it’s time to relax.  While lounging by a Gumongoian swimming hole, some of the local children inform him that all the gelatin desserts have been stolen. So, without hesitation, our hero gives the natives more boxes of Jell-O gelatin and teaches them how to make a new treat called Jell-O Jigglers. Later that night, Jell-O Man sets a trap by placing a seemingly unguarded bowl of sweet gelatin cubes in the kitchen of a Gumongoian’s home. Jell-O Man’s plan goes off without a hitch, and he discovers The Shoveler is responsible for the missing Jell-O. The Shoveler really has to be seen to be believed. Essentially, he looks like an evil version of Too Much Coffee Man, with gardening shovels for hands and tiny wheels for feet. After The Shoveler realizes he’s been busted, he attempts to escape through the kitchen window. Jell-O Man’s head quickly dismounts his body, and chases him. What follows is a series of panels showing them bouncing around on large Jell-O molds. When Jell-O Man finally goes in for the kill with his trademark head-attack, The Shoveler whacks it like a baseball with his tiny shovel hand. Assuming he’s had the last laugh, the villain begins to go into a lengthy monologue, but is quickly interrupted by the people of Gumongo. As it turns out, the people of this planet can throw their heads too, and they pummel The Shoveler without mercy. When Jell-O Man attempts to maneuver through a stack of  alien heads to apprehend the subdued Jell-O thief, the Gumongoians say, “We’ll make room for you, Jell-O Man. After all, there’s always room for Jell-O!”

Be sure to tune in next Wednesday for more delicious early-nineties goodness with the conclusion to my three-part series featuring Jell-O Man and Wobbly #1.

Josh Jones
josh@comicattack.net