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Fanzine coverage returns February 1st, for now, feast your eyes on
Ken’s Wacky Xmas cards!

Hello everyone (yes, all four of you)! Due to some time constraints and minor health issues, I cannot do the traditional Ink Stains this month. Sorry! However, so your eyes aren’t totally bored, I have decided to show you my Christmas cards from the last, oh, many years. Comments when appropriate. Some are hand drawn, some are digital, some a combination. Hopefully, some of them will actually be as humorous as I intended. Some are just nuts. So, let’s get cracking.

The one above was probably done around 1979. You can see various pop icons on the right (the inside of the card). That is me on the left and a silly character called The Goombah poking around my waist.

OK, here is one from 1980, featuring a MASH theme, obviously (inside of the card at right), and with me and the Goombah character again.

Ah yes, back when SNL was really good. I didn’t capture Jane Curtain at all…probably didn’t try too hard, but what the heck. From 1981. (The “over” refers to the left being on the front, and the right being on the back, so an 8 1/2 x 11 could just be folded down the middle.) The “Merry Christmas” was actually written in by hand on each card.

From 1982, above you see a Twilight Zone/Norman Rockwell thing going on. Around this time, I had finished college (the first time) and was still in Salt Lake City, Utah. I think I was doing my DJ thing at the local community station, KRCL…great times.

From 1983, I was definitely doing the DJ thing here, as it refers. Didn’t wear glasses then, but I do now! Hey kids, press-on type!

Back to SNL for more rip off humor, I assume around 1984 (yes, I blew my chance at a “Big Brother” card). I had moved from Utah to Tucson by this time, and was obviously liking the change in climate. The “hey” was added by hand on each card. Funny, just a few days ago I was showing my 12-year-old daughter, Avery, clips of Short’s crazy Ed Grimley character on youtube.

A lazy card above, to be sure, but it was fun to do…I actually went to a photo booth with several coats and such to change back and forth from. My favorite is “…Bill Murraymouth sets in.” From, I think, 1986.

Even more lazy than the last one, but fun to write. I guess this must be 1987, and I think I was working as a government contractor by this time.

Yes, by this time, probably 1988, I had moved to Las Vegas for a job (I flew on a jet every Monday to a military base in the Nevada desert, lived in trailers for the week, and flew back every Thursday night). No skimping on the ink work here, folks!

Below (and above) is the card for 1989, and a truly warped card it is. Maybe the military contract work in the middle of the desert was getting to my feeble brain. There is also a Monty Python reference in there, as well. This was a tri-fold card, so the image at far left was the front, the middle was the back, and the far right was what you would see before you opened the card up.

I am not sure of the year of the one below, but let’s say 1990. You can read left to right.

Well, that which cannot be unseen, below, was done while I worked for Sony Online on the game Everquest. The various costume stuff was done by me for the most part to be used in game, and then unceremoniously repurposed for the front of the card below (the back to follow). By the way, this would have been done around 2000.

Below is a black and white travesty that appeared in, I think, 2001, right before our move to Virginia.

We lived in Fairfax, Virginia between San Diego and Georgia, around 2002. The card below shows Riley raking the leaves, and yes, accusers of laziness, I did the painting especially for the card! We actually did get snowed in once. I took the kids to the McDonald’s that I thought would be open (pulling Avery on a sled, Riley and I walking). When we got there, they were closed and I had to call a cop to drive us home because Avery was just freezing.

The two immediately above is a card I did when we moved back to Georgia, which would have been around 2003. I lived in Georgia as a kid (some high school), and although I could see relatives again, I didn’t really look forward to living there again. Part two follows the front.

Above is my daughter, Avery, and I guess this one was done some time around 2004.

Below, back to hand drawn cards now, this being 2005 and all. Yes, as you will see….

…it DOES get cold in Georgia!

Below is a painting of mine of my youngest daughters, Riley and Avery (the theme is that, by that time, they had lived on both coasts)…and now, I didn’t do the painting just for the card, so again, laziness.

Above you see the obvious Obama campaign visual homage/rip-off theme. It was fun to do, and despite no actual drawing, turned out pretty good.

So, above you see the newest card…what happened between 2008 and 2012? I know I did more cards, but I am, guess what, too lazy to go searching! Besides, I have subjected you to too much of this holiday ho-ho-hokum for one sitting!

Everyone, thanks for reading this column in general. Also, my thanks go out to our fearless leader, Andy Liegl, and the superbly capable Kristin Bomba, along with my fellow Comic Attack contributors. I know there are a fair amount of readers out there interested in the fanzines of days gone by.

Next time I may profile Fantastic Fanzine special #2, and I may have some input from the very busy Gary Groth to go with it! Have a great holiday, folks!

Ken Meyer Jr.
kenmeyerjr@yahoo.com