Greetings, creeple of all ages! He’s the host with the most! Most what? Puns and viscera, it seems. Who am I talking about? The Crypt-Keeper! The host of Tales from the Crypt, a horror comics classic and a staple of ’90s HBO. He’s always got a story to tell and he hopes to make you scream. But how did this zombie man come to be? Let’s find out!
The host that would be Crypt-Keeper was technically born an orphan. His mother was a 4,000 year old mummy, Myrana, who had been mummified alive for spurning the love of a Pharaoh. Adorned with a cursed necklace that would make any who stole it from her, in capable of having children by some misfortune. She’d become an archaeological discovery but soon was stolen from her fate as a museum exhibit and sold to a man, Mr. Sickles, who owned a Freak Show.
This Freak Show was home to Enoch, one of the freaks forced to work the show due to having been born with two faces. Enoch was frequently mocked and mistreated by audience members and show-runner alike. When Myrana arrived, it was love at first sight for the two.
Mr. Sickles would learn that Myrana was stolen goods so he killed the seller for lying to him. Deciding, that before he’d let her get found by the authorities, he’d steal away her necklace to make some money. He’d also realize that Enoch was in love with what he saw as just a bunch of wrapped up bones. Disgusted, Sickles beat Enoch as he took Myrana’s necklace, the curse was swift as Enoch defended himself by using Mr. Sickles’ own garden shears, that Sickles often used to attack people who wronged him, to castrate him.
Enoch and Myrana would run away together and find a nice cave to live in. Sadly, Enoch’s deformities were killing him and the magic that reanimated Myrana would be short-lived. The two were able to have one happy year together before their time on this Earth was at an end. Before they went, they had a child, they would never see the heights of fame their son would reach.
The Crypt-Keeper would grow up and learn of all sorts of horrible people and their horrific stories. He’d collect these and was able to get attention by others where he’d be able to tell his stories in comics alongside such horror hosts as the Vault-Keeper and the Old Witch. Though neither of these two had the staying power and charisma of the Crypt-Keeper. Tales from the Crypt would go on to get a television series, an animated series, several movies, and even a musical career. There was a recent attempt to bring back the show but it fell apart, it also wasn’t going to bring back the Crypt-Keeper so it was probably for the best.
There you have it! While the stories he told may have been gruesome, Crypt-Keeper was always there with a bad joke or ghoulish pun. Will we ever see his skeletal visages grace the screen or panel again? Fright have to wait a while. See you next time!
Suggested Reading
Tales from the Crypt
Dr. Bustos
drbustos@comicattack.net
