Does whatever a squirrel can! What can a squirrel do? More like, what can’t they do? The person who can answer that is Doreen Green, the unbeatable Squirrel Girl! She’s fought the likes of Doctor Doom and Galactus and come out on top. How does she do it? Let’s find out!
Doreen Green was born with a tail, the proportional strength of a squirrel, and the ability to communicate with squirrels. By the time she was 14 years old, she would find Iron Man and ask him to let her join the Avengers. Bewildered by this teenager dressed as a squirrel who was talking to a squirrel named Monkey Joe, Iron Man tried to let her down easy. That is, until Doctor Doom attacked them and Doreen was able to overwhelm Doom with every squirrel in the area. Seeing her potential but concerned since she was still a child, Iron Man told Doreen he’d put in a good word for her if she waited a few years to join.
Several years later, Doreen would hear that the Great Lakes Avengers were hiring and having “beat Doctor Doom” and a recommendation from Iron Man got her on the team. This hiring call out would lead to the death of her faithful sidekick, Monkey Joe. One of the failed apllicants would seek vengeance and attack the team killing Joe in the process. Summoning a horde of squirrels, Doreen would take down several villains. This would lead to her finding a new squirrel companion in Tippy Toe. The two have been together ever since.
While with the GLA, Doreen would fight all kinds of villains and monsters. She’d even draw the attention of S.H.I.E.L.D. due to her skills. She’d turn them down but Dum Dum Dugan still thinks highly of Doreen. Doreen’s skills would get her invited to the Superhuman Poker Tournament where her GLA teammates would play against the likes of the Thing and Hercules to name a few.
When it came time for Superhero Registration, Doreen would sign along with the rest of the GLA. Doreen and company would rescue the Greek god, Dionysus from A.I.M. then, on her own, Doreen would go to Doctor Doom to demand the use of a time machine. Learning that Robbie Baldwin, Speedball, the hero who was accidentally the cause of the Stanford massacre that lead to the Registration Act, was now the grim dark hero Penance, she knew she had to go back in time to stop this nonsense. Unfortunately she ended up in the future of 2099 and met a future Robbie she tried to bring back with her to help present day Robbie but it didn’t work out.
Feeling like the team was putting most of the work on her, Doreen left and became the babysitter for Danielle Cage, the daughter of Jessica Jones and Luke Cage. This made her a member of the New Avengers but spent it keeping Danielle safe and away from all the dangers the team would face. This would sometimes mean having to fight her way out, while holding a baby and keeping the both of them alive and well. When Jones and Cage left the team, Doreen followed.
Deciding to go to college, Doreen would get into Empire State University’s computer science program and move in to the dorms with Nancy Whitehead who would become her best friend and ally in her adventures. She’d even get her own little team along with fellow students/superheroes, Chipmunk Hunk and Koi Boi. Doreen, along with Tippy Toe, Nancy, Chipmunk Hunk, and Koi Boi would have many adventures. Dealing with the likes of Krave the Hunter, Galactus, a time traveling Doctor Doom, and many others, Doreen has been able to maintain the title of unbeatable often through unconventional means of conflict resolution. She’d even rejoin the New Avengers, albeit one with a new set of team members and a new version of A.I.M. working with them.
There you have it! Squirrel Girl has had a resurgence in recent years and I, for one, couldn’t be happier. She was always a fun character and remains so even during the darkest times. Her current book is a lot fun and one of the funniest comics around. Will we get to see Doreen in the MCU at some point, I sure hope so. Let’s make it weird!
Suggested Reading
Marvel Super-Heroes Vol. 2 #8
GLA: Misassembled
Deadpool/GLI Summer Fun Spectacular
Avengers: The Initiative
New Avengers Vol. 2
New Avengers Annual Vol. 2
The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Vol. 1 & 2
Dr. Bustos
drbustos@comicattack.net
