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Welcome friends to another exciting adventure in Ye Olde School Cafe’. In this week’s tale, we’ll travel beyond the stars to see how Thanos achieved ultimate power, and how he ultimately lost it! If you’ve never read this story before, prepare yourself for some cosmic chaos filled with heroes and villains alike. The Infinity Gauntlet was written by the best in the biz for cosmic stories in my humble opinion, Jim Starlin, and was penciled by George Perez and Ron Lim in 1991 (don’t tell my editors this story isn’t pre-1990). I’m going to do this one in three parts because it is so monstrous. Now, let’s begin our voyage to the outer reaches of space!

Our story begins with Thanos and Mephisto standing in front of a giant effigy of the word god. Mephisto is offering up his grand services and thoughts to Thanos who quickly tells him to be silent. The two have a very brief conversation about how the universe is within their grasp. We next see Dr. Strange and Wong hanging at the Sanctum Sanctorum talking. Without warning, something crashes through the roof of Strange’s home, and he quickly heads upstairs to see what’s going on. The noise was made by the Silver Surfer coming with a warning; He tells Strange that a great danger is coming Earth’s way, and its name is Thanos. The Surfer then tells Strange of how Mistress Death resurrected Thanos and also augmented his power for his task ahead: Death has ordered Thanos to wipe out half of the sentient population of the Universe! The scene shifts back to Mephisto and Thanos who are still pondering how to go about changing the Universe to their liking. Thanos tells Mephisto that he’ll pretty much do whatever he wants, and he then makes another bold statement that will eventually come back to haunt him. “I am incapable of error.” Why does he believe this? Because he has attained all six of the Infinity Gems!
In the next part, we see the Surfer telling Strange and Wong  just how Thanos acquired these gems. He states that Thanos, with Mistress Death’s help, wrestled control over the gems from their guardians, who are elders of the Universe. Thanos has also learned complete mastery over these gems and basically has the power of a god. Strange and Wong are stunned to learn this and can’t believe such power is in the hands of a nihilist. Next, we see more of the Surfer’s tale. Strange learns of how the Silver Surfer and Drax the Destroyer tried to confront the Mad Titan, but were easily rebuffed and sent inside the Soul Gem. While inside, they met a man named Adam Warlock. He was believed dead since his last confrontation with Thanos. Warlock uses a spell to send them back to this Universe to get help. We get another peek at Thanos and Mephisto while they walk around with their pompous attitudes. Mistress Death isn’t impressed though, and this angers Thanos to the point of nearly snapping. During this time, we also get a glimpse inside the mind of Pip the Troll (and yes, that’s a very scary place). Thanos is still trying his lover-boy routine on Mistress death, but its not working.
Thanos can’t quite seem to figure out what Misstress Death is up to. He tries to build her a temple, but that doesn’t impress her. Thanos and Mephisto go back to their conniving ways and try to figure out how to get Mistress Death aroused, when Thanos decides to pull his grand-daughter Nebula out of some crevice to show how much he loves death. She isn’t having that either. Thanos then remembers how he made a deal to destroy half of the Universe, and decides to give that a try. With a snap of his fingers, he does just that!
This is when we see Spidey realize MJ is gone. Soon after, some of the Avengers disappear right before our eyes! There’s a quick shot of Nick Fury in space talking to the president on the phone about what happened. We are also treated to seeing the Hulk in a bar trying to get wasted, and the Skrulls forming a battle plan because they think their mortal enemy, the Kree, have pulled a fast one. As Strange and the Surfer are talking about a plan of action, we see Wong suddenly disappear in a  flash of light. Also on the moon Titan, we see Thanos and Eros’ father up and vanish into thin air as well. Thanos then brings Eros himself to slap around for some enjoyment. Again, quick interlude for Pip the Troll, where he’s walking around talking to what appears to be a cheap rent-a-whore. She unwillingly vanishes as well, and then Pip runs into the bedroom only to find a giant cocoon in the bed.
Meanwhile, everything is being turned upside down by Thanos’ wiping out half of all life. Jets are losing their pilots and need to be rescued by the Avengers, Quasar is called to space by Epoch in order to help the cosmic cause, and the Kree are preparing for war with the Skrulls because they think that they are responsible for half of their population disappearing. Back at Dr. Strange’s home, Hank Pym is assisting in trying to help with the Silver Surfer’s weakened condition. Before you know it, Strange is pulled away from reality and taken to the astral plane by an unknown entity that begs for his help. This apparition asks Strange to help rally the troops that are still left on Earth, and get them ready to face an unwinnable battle. He agrees but watching all this from afar is none other than Dr. Doom! Back on Thanos’ home world, we see Eros trying to use his powers of manipulation on his brother, but Thanos then removes Eros’ mouth to stop him from using his powers.
Back on Earth, Captain America has gathered the Avengers that are left and tells them that they need to put a stop to this madness now! Outside of Earth’s realm in Asgard, we see noble Odin and the other leaders of the pantheons talking about how to stop this universal disturbance. They all agree to take action but are soon stranded and unable to help. We next see Pip the Troll get knocked over from a blast in the other room; The cocoon hatched and the being inside tells Pip to get ready to hunt Thanos!  We then watch as the Surfer awakens from getting rest and he is shocked to see that Doom has infiltrated Strange’s home and taken him prisoner. The Surfer is no match for Doom though in his weakened state. After some quick dialogue, the roof is almost torn off by Adam Warlock and Pip. They tell Doom, Strange, and the Surfer, about how they are going to try and defeat Thanos.
Across the Galaxy though, Thanos is running out of patience with Mistress Death and her coldness towards him. He unleashes a powerful blast that sends shock waves throughout the universe and causes the Earth’s weather to go berserk. We then see some of Earth’s remaining heroes trying to save what’s left of humanity. The ever powerful Galactus himself feels the tremor and plots a course to find the origin. Back at Strange’s house, we see everyone inside get shook up and Doom states that it was just an earthquake. Warlock tells him that it was no natural phenomenon. It was Thanos, and he’s angry.
Well, that’s part 1 of this cosmic tale, but come back next week for more of Thanos and his grand scheme to rewrite history and the universe the way he wishes it to be! Earth’s heroes mount a desperate attempt to stop him but do they even stand a chance against a being whose power is omnipotent? Tune in next week to find out!
Billy Dunleavy
billy@comicattack.net