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February 16, 2013
 

Ye Olde School Café: Evolutionary War part 2

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Written by: Billy
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Hello and welcome back to another week in Ye Olde School Café! This week will be the continuation of our look at Evolutionary War! Last time we saw X-Factor fighting against the Purifiers, and the High Evolutionary battle Apocalypse. The latter bout featured not only physical fighting, but also a war of words and philosophies. That was definitely the high point of that wonderful annual. Now, a story brought to you by Mike Baron and Mark Texeira, of the man on a mission of vengeance, Frank Castle, The Punisher.

We see the Punisher checking his gun, while his inner monologue is talking about a coke dealer named “The Great White” who lives in Bogota. He aims on taking his operation down, hard. In the next moment, a fire fight erupts, and Frank finds himself on the defensive. He notices a robot or a soldier in a metal suit, as it threatens to kill a few people. He tosses a grenade at it, and then pounces on the man underneath the armor. After not getting too many answers, he turns his attention to a few more of them that are closing in on him. He lays down some covering fire, then retreats to cover with a young girl. She then tells Frank that her father is the Great White, El Caiman.

Frank follows the girl to her father’s stronghold, and the guards demand he leave his gun with them. He does, but doesn’t care because he still has a knife, darts, picks, and a garrote. They proceed inside, and then he comes face to face with his target. The young girl jumps into her father’s arms, but the scene soon turns uncomfortable as Frank tells him that he came there to stop him. El Caiman shows the Punisher all the good he’s done for the area, but that doesn’t impress him. As the two men agree to have a truce to figure out who these intruders in the suits of armor are, one of them sneaks up and murders a guard right in front of them. The Punisher grabs a weapon and kills one immediately, but more pop up in seconds. The Punisher, El Caiman, and his daughter use a tunnel to escape to a chopper.

They escape to another compound, and there El Caiman shows the Punisher how ruthless he can be. He has one of his men toss a traitor into his “fish bowl.” A crocodile and piranha infested tank is the end of the road for that man. The next scene shows the suited enemies attacking again, and this time the Punisher has a rocket launcher to blow one of them out of the sky. He then gets to the secret chamber of El Caiman, and then they both kill all but one of the “Eliminators.” The last one tells them both that the High Evolutionary wants all the drugs and genetic pollutants gotten rid of, and it starts with El Caiman. The Eliminator doesn’t realize that the Punisher has sneaked up behind him. He riddles the Eliminator with bullets, killing the occupant. El Caiman takes this opportunity to try and kill the Punisher. The Punisher takes one shot, and hits the giant fish tank that houses the piranha and crocs, and El Caiman becomes food for his own beasts.  He saves the girl, though, and tells her that her father was a drug dealer that deserved it.

The next chapter is Silver Surfer Annual #1, and in it the Evolutionary enters Olympia to try and sway the Eternals into joining his cause. In outer space, Silver Surfer is making out with Nova. He leaves her to go back to her master, Galactus. As he soars through the space-ways, he runs right into the Super-Skrull! As the two battle away, the mighty Eternals enter the fray, and put both of them into a force-field. They explain that the Evolutionary is going to use the Surfer’s genetic matrix to better the human race. The Surfer cries out “No,” but they aren’t listening. They take them both back to Olympia, and begin their tests. The Surfer then tells the Super-Skrull to focus all of his power on breaking free, and as they both do this together, they do indeed break out of their prison.

A giant brawl breaks out between the Eternals and the Silver Surfer and Super-Skrull. They all seem evenly matched, until Super-Skrull gets the upper hand on them, and uses this chance to flee. As he gets the attention of the Eternals, the Surfer calls to his board and escapes, as well. The Eternals give chase, but soon cooler heads prevail, and the altruistic Surfer manages to talk sense into them, and they agree to part on peaceful terms. The Surfer then tells them that he’ll try to figure out the ultimate plans of the Evolutionary, and the Eternals wish him well.

Well, that’s it for now, but be back next week as the High Evolutionary kidnaps a New Mutant, experiments on her, and then Spider-Man, Dare-Devil, and…Speedball enter the war? Be here in one week for the next part of this extraordinary adventure!

Billy Dunleavy
billy@comicattack.net

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