Featured Columns

November 18, 2009

Unsung Characters of Comicdom: Eagle All-Star

Eagle All-Star: Torch of Liberty is an independent ‘one-shot’ comic that was produced by Blind Wolf Studios in 2003. It was co-created, co-written and illustrated by Franco Aureliani and Art Baltazar (the creative team behind Tiny Titans, Gorilla Gorilla, & Patrick the Wolf Boy), with Jamie Cosely (Megazeen contributor) pulling some of the creative and writing duties. It’s a refreshing and humorous take on the patriotic hero archetype (The Shield, Captain America, ect.) with an unforgettable story that is rich with levity.

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Eagle All-Star & Mighty Meow

So, if you’ll please stand with ‘hand over heart,’ I would like to introduce this week’s Unsung Character of Comicdom, Eagle All-Star!

Secret Identity: Wink Bently
Alias/Codename:
All-Star Eagle
Sidekick:
Mighty Meow
Powers:
Flight, Super Strength, Mighty Sonic Eagle Screech, Magical Galactic Milk (Empowers Mighty Meow)
Weaknesses:
High Velocity Fresh Tuna, Squink (Squid ink cut with a heavy sedative)
Most memorable quote:
“What the cheesy peets are you babbling about?!”

Origin: Wink Bently was a reckless youth with a love for hang gliding. One day, in an effort to push his passion for gliding to the extreme, he took flight over the parks of Mt. Hanover. Unbeknownst to him, The Empire Company had been using the entire area as an impromptu toxic waste dump. As he glided over the polluted valleys, he felt like he was on top of the world. Until, out of nowhere, he was ambushed by a gaggle of radioactive eagles! As the glowing ‘birds of prey’ swarmed his glider, they pummeled him with an acid rain of eagle poop. Thus, burning holes in his flight apparatus, and saturating him with gobs of the birds’ contaminated doo-doo. Rendered shitty and helpless, he began to repeatedly slam into numerous cliff walls before he finally plummeted to the ground. He landed by an old access road, and was quivering at deaths door. Luckily, Don Henley and Glenn Frye of the Eagles happened to be driving by in a Ford pick-up truck. They drove Wink back into town, and soon after, his eagle superpowers began to manifest. Dawning the name Eagle All-Star, he dedicated his life to fighting crime with his trusty cat, Mighty Meow.

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Eagle All-Star & Mighty Meow fly into battle

Allies: The best lolcat ever! Mighty Meow is Eagle All-Star’s faithful feline companion. He drinks from the teet of the Milky Way, using our galaxy’s mother’s milk to grant him super pep-pep power. He harbors the ability to fly, enhanced intellect, and razor-sharp kitty claws. Like most cats, he’s an asshole. So, he mostly just zones out and grooms himself while his master’s taking a beating from the baddies. Fortunately, Mighty Meow has a penchant for pouncing perps, and has more than proven himself as a helpful partner in Eagle All-Star’s war on crime.

Antagonists: Eagle All-Star fights a group of super villains who call themselves the Squid Gang. The group’s leader is Suzie Squidpuss, whose bitterness over her father’s Olympic defeat led her to organize a group of calamitous calamari criminals.

Her dad, Igor P. Freely (moving on…), was an Olympic swimmer who was hairier than a gorilla with a Rogaine addiction. His lack of glabrescent, underwater dynamics would eventually cost him the gold medal. He contested his silver medal standing to the Olympics Committee, but  his pleas for reconsideration were rejected. Disgraced, he swam to a desert island where he made love to a thing that resembled Ursula the Sea Witch, from Disney’s The Little Mermaid (if she were a million times hotter). Igor’s disturbingly attractive squid-lady girlfriend conceived and gave birth to a set of twins, Suzie and Rocko. The newborn twins were soon abandoned by their father, who swam into the ocean and never returned. Blaming the Olympics for their bastard childhoods, the twins came to the states and formed the now infamous Squid Gang. Their agenda? Steal Olympic gold medals and the iconic Olympic torch. Also, because Eagle All-Star lit the torch at a recent Olympics ceremony, he became the gang’s highest priority in their evil scavenger hunt.

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Eagle All-Star vs. Sabatian Squid

Squid Gang Roster: Suzie Squidpuss (A mystical femme fatale with a taste for vengeance, and seaweed), Rocko Squidface (A beastly, bulging man, dressed in a squid suit and armed with a semi automatic tuna rifle), Sebastian Squid (An over-grown feral child/ squid hybrid with big tentacles and an even bigger appetite). Last and most certainly least, is Slapnuts. Yes, Slapnuts (A slacker the gang picked up as a hitchhiker. He won’t leave their couch).

Realistically, I would much rather hang out with Slapnuts than a muscle-bound freak in tights whose only friend is his cat. But don’t get me wrong, I’ve got much respect for Eagle All-Star. This star-spangled heavyweight fights the forces of evil, while me and Ol’ Slapnuts are fighting over a chip we found in the crease of my futon. So, I salute you, Mr. Eagle All-Star. You’re always welcome to drop by my place for some domestic beer, but please don’t molt when you get tipsy. It inflames my allergies.

Related info: Jamie Cosley’s Blog, Electric Milk Creations, Newsorama interview with Franco Aureliani and Art Baltazar, Word Balloon podcast featuring Art Baltazar, CBR’s Ninjatown Review, 20 patriotic heroes who aren’t Eagle All Star, List of public domain patriotic heroes

Josh Jones
josh@comicattack.net

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3 Comments


  1. billy

    That’s quite a weakness he has.



  2. Dude, this is absolutely hilarious. Where do you find this stuff? Slapnuts? lol

    “Like most cats, he’s an asshole.”

    haha

    … but penetrating Ursula the Sea Witch? Good god…


  3. Wendy

    Starting to have your hilarious commentary in my head whenever I read cheezy comics! Pep-Pep Power = my favorite



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