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December 7, 2011
 

The Uncanny X-Piles LXVI

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Written by: Jeff
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Uncanny X-Men #2 (#546)
Writer: Kieron Gillen
Artist(s): Carlos Pacheco, Jorge Molina, and Rodney Buchemi

My lord, this book is so horrible I want to scream! Forget the reboot. This is absolute crap storytelling! This story is about Mr. Sinister stealing the head of the Dreaming Celestial and creating a World Fair where only clones on Mr. Sinister works….This might just be the worst idea for a story I have ever hear in my entire life. What good could possibly come from this story? At first I thought it had a nice 80’s feel to it in that it was a sensationalized evil menace set in a bizarre environment. But as soon as I tried to figure out the main idea of the story, I became highly agitated. So what, Mr. Sinister wants to destroy the world and repopulate it with himself? What is this, DC? Mr. Gillen, you should be ashamed of yourself for bringing this garbage onto one of Marvel’s Flagship titles. And to use it with the new x-reboot….for shame! So let’s look at this in the context of the reboot. This is not the way to start off this series. If you are cancelling one of the biggest books Marvel has and starting it over, you better be sure your first story arc has some wow factor to it. I defy anyone to tell me what that is so far in this series. So far for me it has been Hope putting a bullet in the head of one of the Sinister clones. If that is the highpoint….oh boy, this series is going to suck! Furthermore, how does Sinister go about ripping the head off of a Celestial? Last I checked, these space gods were pretty tough! Last I checked with Sinister, he had his neck snapped by Rogue’s bare hands; which were super strength free I’ll have you know! It saddens me more than I care to think of, but I think it is safe to say that my 35 year relationship with this book is drawing to a close. If Marvel doesn’t have enough sense to closely monitor the quality of this book, then they don’t deserve any more money from me for it. The saddest part of all, I’m sure the folks at Marvel could care less if people start dropping this book. It used to be about creating good stories. Too bad they’ve lost sight of that. Go buy yourself a coffee instead of this book. You’ll have longer lasting memories of it and at least you will walk away with a good taste in your mouth. –CK

Art: 7/10 Writing: 4/10 Cover: 6/10 Relevance: 2/10

Wolverine #19
Writer: Jason Aaron
Artist: Ron Garney

Sadly, this issue represents the end of the classic kung-fu fighting, dragon battling Wolverine arc that I have come to know and love. I really have enjoyed this latest arc. Everything from the art to the writing has been very entertaining. And if previews are to be believed, the next arc is supposed to be even better! Jason Aaron crafts a very layered, yet easy to understand ending to this story arc. Aaron’s attention to continuity; both Wolverine based and just plain X-based, is amazing. He has made the Wolverine book essential in understanding the finer workings of the X-Men right now. I know that might bother some, but as a long time Wolverine enthusiast, it suites me just fine. The story itself focuses on Wolverine, Gorilla Man, Fat Cobra and Master Po escaping the underground opium fields of the Jade Claw. Not only does Wolverine beat the bad guys, but he gets all of his missing money back as well, which turns out to be good news for the town of Salem Center, Westchester County. There are equal parts humour and adventure, which makes this the book Deadpool has failed to be. Ron Garney does nice work on this issue, and has certain pages that look really amazing. The only complaint I have is his cover, which I found a boring. Here’s to hoping that the team-up from this book shows up again soon in another book! –CK

Art: 7/10 Writing: 8/10 Cover:4/10 Relevance: 8/10

X-Men: Legacy #259
Writer: Mike Carey
Artist: Khoi Pham

I was really hoping for Mike Carey to go out on a high note. This is the next to the last issue of his long-spanning career as an X-writer, and I have to say, it’s extremely disappointing. However, I don’t think it’s quite Carey’s fault. First of all, Legacy tends to be way behind the ball in terms of continuity. The tension in the beginning of this issue of Rogue trying to make her decision to stay on Utopia or go to Westchester is completely undercut by the fact that we already know she chooses Westchester…and we knew it 2 months ago! So why spend any time on it here? Once Carey moves off of that, he brings a little intrigue into the book by revealing there is a stowaway that has joined the X-Men and Starjammers on their return to earth. Carey does a good job of building the tension of the story all the way to the last page, hinting that this character is female, is a deceased friend of the X-Men, and has stowed away in the Phoenix blade that Korvus carries. However, the reveal is so ludicrous that it takes away every bit of credibility Carey had built up to that point. Jean Grey red herrings have been done a million times before. In fact, Marvel is certainly doing one right now in the midst of the teasers they are releasing of the Phoenix. But if you’re going to build up something like that, at least have the decency to bring back a character that is at least related to the book or the characters therein. So, spoiler warning, the “big” reveal is…Ariel. You’re probably thinking, Ariel who? Exactly. Ariel is such a minor character, that when she died in Second Coming, I almost cheered. There is just no connection here at all, and certainly no reason to make us think it was Jean. This just fell so flat it was disgusting. To top it off, you have the lazy art of Khoi Pham, who phones it in even more than usual here. The backgrounds are so sparse…there’s one panel where the X-Men are all standing in a huge room that contains nothing in it. I have a feeling that space on Utopia is rather limited, yet they have a football-field-sized room where people can just stand around, not to mention a gladiator arena that contains no detail at all. Add the awkward faces and you’ve got yourself a real mess here. I’m thinking that ultimately, editorial pulled a fast one on Carey again, because he’s never thrown such a horribly random curveball at us readers, not to mention allowing Pham to draw it. Spend your money on Mouse Guard: The Black Axe #3 instead of this sorry excuse for a comic. –JJ

Art: 1/10 Writing: 4/10 Cover: 7/10 Relevance: 2/10

 

Most X-Cellent Pick of the Week:
Capekiller: X-Men Legacy #259 – I really enjoyed this read.  I felt like I was walking through some very tough decisions right along with the X-folk.  There were lots of great sub-stories to build off in this issue.  Great work Mike Carey!
Jeff: Cape…what are you smoking, dude? That book was horrible, whereas out of these books, Wolverine #19 gets my top bill. Dragons vomiting superheroes on bad guys always win!

 

 

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